Let's say you're tipsy

Let's say you're tipsy at 5am, to use a euphemism. After you squeeze yourself among the people in the bar, and you get to the toilet, you have to wait at least 15mins to get in. It's the best time to make new friends: people are very talkative when they're on the edge.
Finally it's your turn, and you go in, not really knowing which type of toilet this will be. Because women have it tough, you know? Spain is full of surprises, and you never know whether you're going to find the minimum facilities: lock, paper, light?, hanger...
So, at 5am, you go into the toilet, and sometimes the stars are not aligned, and you find yourself in the dark, having to hold the door because there's no lock, hanging your handbag from the door handle while you keep it there in case someone tries to open the door and it falls to that floor that you've half-seen while you were getting in and that is so flooded that you need to hold your trousers up while you lean in the dark and you hold the door handle so that nobody opens and then you're holding the only kleenex that you've got left. After the surreal event, you get back out, all sophisticated and as if you were coming from the restroom in the Ritz in Paris, to a jungle of sweating people and hands that you never know whether they accidentally tapped you on your behind, or whether you need to look back, turn the man around, and give him the slap of his life.
From my blog I call for an imaginative invention for women's bathrooms. Any ideas?